It’s impossible not to deny social media and self-esteem’s role in confidence. No matter whether we’ll admit it, social networks like Instagram have changed our perception of ourselves—and, in many cases, even our perception of what everyone else perceives of ourselves, too. I have seen it firsthand, in my life and in everyone I have ever worked with in years past. Some use social approval for a confidence boost, and others fall prey to feelings of inadequacy.
So, then, social media and self-esteem creates confidence, and social media destroys? The answer isn’t such a simple one at that. Instagram, in particular, is a driving force in creating perception, beginning with its use of filters in an attempt at becoming pretty to its high of dopamine when one sees likes. Let’s dissect how it works and what can change about it.
The Instagram Effect: Filters, Liking, and Approval
Perhaps one of social media and self-esteem’s biggest contributing factors in confidence is its function. The site is designed with perfectly posed photos, expertly posed settings, and groomed reality. Nobody posts a picture with no level of consideration involved—be it fixing lights, adding a filter, or holding out for “the perfect” picture to post when most active so that you can attract attention to your profile.
I remember spending over an hour working over one picture when I posted it. In my head at the time, it seemed perfectly fine—I wanted it to look “just perfect.” What actually transpired, then, was I removed any little flaw, adjusted the brightness to an unreal level, and pretty much posed for a picture I hadn’t even ever taken my face to resemble. And yet, I couldn’t resist refreshing my page, holding out for likes to start rolling in.
But the actual problem isn’t about curating photos. It’s about when posts go out. With each and every re-share, like, and comment, comes an approval of a sort. With activity, with likes and comments, one feels better about him or her. With posts with little, taking it personally comes naturally. I have seen students fall into this trap, doubting oneself about one’s Instagram reach. It’s a hurtful loop—one with a long-term impact on social media and self-esteem.
Comparison Trap: Idealized Beauty and Lifestyle Expectations
A scroll through Instagram is a trip onto one’s life’s highlight reel, but not one’s life at all. Flawless complexions, chiseled physiques, luxurious vacation, beautifully prepared meals—things don’t require any work at all. Naturally, naturally, whatever one sees isn’t real at all. Behind each and every shot of perfection, perfect lights, perfect posing, and sometimes even expert photoshopping.
And yet, knowing all of this, comparing oneself is almost impossible to resist. I recall when I followed a fitness blogger whose life seemed perfect all of the time. Despite my constant reminder that social media isn’t real, I couldn’t resist comparing and thinking I wasn’t enough. I wasn’t “clean” enough, working out enough, polished enough. I drained myself with it.
And it’s not even about looks alone. Success, wealth, relationships—all of these and more, presented in a manner that one feels less than enough. But in reality, Instagram hardly ever reflects real life at all. Folks don’t post about fighting with one’s significant other, getting a rejection letter for a job, about having a sleepless night and not knowing any direction in life at all.
Dopamine and Social Media’s Addictive Nature
There’s a reason social media’s addictive: it’s designed that way. With each and every notification, each and every comment, and each and every like, comes little pings of dopamine, same neurochemical involved in pleasure when one eats, works out, or engages in pleasure.
I recall deleting a picture simply for not having gotten enough likes in ten minutes’ worth of time. I sound silly saying it now, but then I took it to mean I wasn’t enough—I wasn’t fascinating, I wasn’t pretty enough. That’s Instagram’s trap: instilling a desire for approval in a manner that can become an all-encompassing one.
The problem with such a loop is that it can make one’s worth depend on approval from outsiders. Instead of having confidence inward, one begins to calculate value in terms of electronic feedback. With social media and self-esteem becoming one’s sole source of worth, one experiences an inner roller coaster of emotion—highs when one’s performance is high, lows when one’s performance is low.
Social Media and Mental Health: Depression, Anxiety, and Poor Self-Esteem
Excessive social media use is no secret when it comes to mental health complications. Several studies have determined that high use of Instagram is positively correlated with increased anxiety, depression, and poor self-esteem. Perpetual desire for approval, constant comparisons, and an insidious fear of missing out (FOMO) contribute to it all.
I have a student years ago who confided in me about not being able to go a single day without Instagram. She woke up and, first and foremost, scrolled through her feed, comparing her life with influencers. She wasn’t an addict in simple terms—she was despondent. Every post convinced her that she wasn’t enough.
Cyberbullying is a contributing cause, too. One mean comment can have a lasting impact. Unlike face-to-face, criticism in cyberspace is meaner, and humans have less inhibition about saying whatever comes to one’s head.
Conclusion
Social media and self-esteem have a deep impact on confidence. On one level, it can be a source of connectivity and motivation, but it can breed unhealthy comparisons, unobtainable standards, and a constant search for approval.
I’m not saying to delete social media altogether. I’m a social media participant, and I enjoy it. I’ve simply altered my use of it, though. I no longer let a count of likes dictate my feelings about my value, and I’ve ceased following persons who make me believe I have to become a version of me I’m not.
The most significant portion in mastering that virtual atmosphere is awareness. Having an awareness of how one’s view of oneself is impacted through Instagram empowers one to gain control and not permit a platform to dictate one’s worth. With responsible use, social media and self-esteem can become a tool for expression and not for doubting oneself.
The following time you’re about to fall into comparing your life with a picture-perfect post, stop and remind yourself: real life isn’t filtered.